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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24134455">The Rebuild of Evan Buckley</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoolishAngel1987/pseuds/FoolishAngel1987'>FoolishAngel1987</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Running away to come back [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Family Feels, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Lack of Communication, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Moving On, Panic Attacks, Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:16:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,959</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24134455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoolishAngel1987/pseuds/FoolishAngel1987</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Buck has officially joined the 116 firehouse in the hopes that the temporary position will help heal the months of anguish he has been carrying around. But in his new position, he finds new friends and support network that welcome him with open arms and could be the very thing he had been searching for...a family.  Buck begins to find his purpose again and to heal from what he left behind and finds that leaving things behind can be the very thing that moves him forward.</p><p>**Sequel to Separation of Buck and Family</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan “Buck” Buckley &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Running away to come back [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>163</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>9-1-1 Tales</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Week One: A new start</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck should have known his first day at the 116 wasn't going to be a quiet one or a slow start. He had barely walked in the door and had time to change into his uniform before the alarm was going off and he had to rush out to the main bay and into his turnout gear. While the firetruck was screaming through the streets of L.A., Captain Peterson told them what they were headed towards, a fire at an appliance store that had started seemingly out of nowhere. Most of the customers and staff had managed to get out and were standing around in the parking lot looking scared when they arrived. Buck had been the first to scramble out of the truck, wondering what order he was going to be given while the others headed in towards the fire. But he was surprised when his new captain turned to him with a serious look on his face.<br/>
 <br/>
 “Buckley!” Captain Peterson called out from the front of the truck, motioning with his hand at Buck and Brian as the others jumped down to the pavement, pulling their masks down over their faces. “You and Miller enter through the back of the store, check for anyone who may be hiding.”</p><p> “On it Cap.” Brian nodded in acknowledgment, shooting Buck a grin at the blonde man's shocked expression at at being allowed to do something, as and he and Buck took off around the side of the burning building towards the back door. The alley behind the small appliance store was empty of people and the back door was standing partially open, as if someone had meant to exit with a bag of trash that sat abandoned just inside the door frame. Curls of smoke were drifting through the door way as they headed up the steps and the sound of the flames reached their ears even through their helmets. Brian glanced his way again. “You ready?”</p><p> “Let's go.” Buck smirked  and followed Brian through the doorway, flicking on his flashlight as he went and immediately started scanning the dimly lit area. The back room was full of shelves, standing close together in the middle as piles of boxes were stacked against the walls. There was no place for anyone to hide here, Buck thought as they moved across the room, making sure to check between the aisles. Nothing. Buck grabbed his radio. “Negative Cap. The storage room is empty.”</p><p> “Keep going, check the office and the bathrooms. The owner said there was a male customer that's unaccounted for. The fire is being contained on our end.” Peterson responded  and Buck could hear the sounds of high pressure water striking the inside of the store just a few feet away. He looked behind him and saw that Brian was walking ahead, having already heard the order.</p><p> “LAFD, is anyone in here?” Brian called out, his voice immediately cutting off so they could hear if anyone responded. There was only the sound of the 116 working to put out the flames and the hiss of the hose from the outside. No other voices. No cries for help. Brian shared a look at Buck but he didn't hear anything either. “Is anyone here?”</p><p> They moved into the hallway, a rise in heat becoming more noticeable as they moved quickly, breaking in the doors to check for anyone in the rooms, calling out as they went. There was no one and just as they reached the bathroom at the end of the hallway, convinced that the man had somehow managed to get out, there was a noise coming from the back corner of the bathroom. Buck sprinted towards the sound and kicked open a stall door and spotted the man cowering near the side of the toilet, hands over his head. Buck grabbed one of the man's arms and Brian took the other, pulling the barely conscious man to his feet and between the two of them, rushing him back through the hallway and back into the storage room, the smoke starting to get thicker and out into the open air of the back alley, setting the man on the ground briefly and Brian pressed his fingers against the man's neck to check his pulse. </p><p> “Am I in trouble?” He asked suddenly, opening his eyes and staring directly up at the, a dopey looking smile on his face that made Brian frown in concern as they hoisted him back to his feet and started walking back to the front of the building. The man leaned heavily on Buck as he spoke. “I just wanted to see how the grills worked.”</p><p> “Wait...You set the fire?” Buck asked,  looking at Brian who was equally as confused as him. This was an intentional fire? He had to be sure. “On purpose?”</p><p> “Yea all 3 of them. In the grills in the middle of the store.” The man said almost proudly</p><p> “They're display grills! Inside a building, they're not meant to be used.” Buck said, resisting the urge to smack his own head as he brought the man over to the ambulance, setting him down at the back where Candice rushed over from the others to fit him with an oxygen mask. Buck stepped back,  frowning as he looked the man over for any injuries and being satisfied that there were none he could see. “You know you weren't meant to test them out right?”</p><p> “Well I know that now.”</p><p> </p><p>                                                                                                  {**}{**}</p><p> “He actually did it on purpose?” Eric asked in disbelief  when they arrived back at the station and were in the process of pulling off their turnout gear and heading towards the locker room to change. Buck and Brian had given them a play by play account of what had happened after they had all been given orders at the appliance store but it wasn't until they were almost back at the fire station that Buck had told them what the man had confessed to after they had pulled him out the back door. Eric's mouth had fallen open when he heard this. “Are you for real?”</p><p> “Unfortunately yes.” Brian laughed, shaking his head as they went to their respective lockers. “He may have been a little out of it, but he was pretty clear that he started it.”</p><p> “Wow, that's.....” Eric started to say, struggling to find the words.<br/>
 <br/>
 “Crazy?” Candice suggested, sitting down to pull off her shoes and change her socks, shooting them all a frown when she was met with raised eyebrows. “What? You were all thinking it.”</p><p> “Yea but some of us don't say everything we are thinking out loud.” Ben pointed out, wrinkling his nose at her to which she just rolled her eyes. “The guy is clearly not mentally stable. No one in their right mind would think it made sense to test out a grill at an appliance store.”</p><p> “He did seem kind of confused.” Buck said, thinking back to the look in the man's eyes when they had emerged into the back alley and set him on the ground. He looked at the others. “And at least he didn't hurt anyone.”</p><p> “There's the silver lining.” Simon replied with a smile, his black hair sticking up in crazy angles from being stuck under his helmet for the past few hours. “Not that it makes everything ok, but it could have been worse.”</p><p> “Yea, in the case of purposely set fires, this is the best case scenario.” Brian agreed, pulling off his shirt to exchange it for a clean one. “And hopefully this guy can get help.”</p><p> “You are too understanding and nice. You and Buckley.” Candice giggled, pulling her fingers through the knots of her long red hair, her green eyes filled with lightness. “It's going to be a pain in the ass to deal with the both of you.”</p><p> “Oh are we all suppose to be cynical and mean like you?” Brian asked, trying to look stern and failing the moment he reached out and tugged on Candice's ponytail like an older brother would have done, the gesture filling the red head's face with mock exasperation but Buck could tell it was all a front and that she probably found the reaction comforting in the way that only people who have worked closely with each other could feel. It made something warm bloom in Buck's chest as he changed into a  fresh set of clothes. Brian headed towards the door, motioning over his shoulder. “Come on, lets go eat before we get called out again.”</p><p> “What's Cap making this time?” Eric inquired, following after Brian as did the others.</p><p> “I think Mexican lasagna.” Ben answered, sniffing the air as they walked towards the stairs.</p><p> “Oh...” Simon's face grimaced from his spot next to Buck. “The last time he made it, he put way too many jalapenos and there was not enough milk in fridge to counteract that.”</p><p> “Don't let him hear you say that.” Eric said with a giggle. “Or he'll give you the biggest slice out of all of us.”</p><p> “Oh god.” Simon whispered in horror as they stepped up to the landing and Buck fought the urge to laugh in response as they sat down at the table.</p><p> Maybe this new job and team was going to work out just fine.</p><p>                                                                                                                 {~}{~}</p><p> </p><p> If Buck thought his first week at the 116 was going to be easy, he was sorely mistaken. There was no slow warming up to working with his new team, he was thrown right into the pool and had to begin swimming. </p><p> After that first call with the fire at the appliance store, there had been a 5 car pile up in a neighborhood right off the high way that not only resulted in multiple vehicle fires, but had the fire spreading to the yards of the nearby houses causing mass chaos. Buck had to hide his grin as he had jumped into the craziness with his team, but it was hard when he was so relieved to be back to working in the field.  He had worried that for some reason Captain Peterson was going to hold him back on bigger calls. But it was all hands on deck when the got the call and his new captain had simply given him his orders and turned his back, like he had no doubt that Buck was going to follow through exactly as he had told him to. Buck would never admit it, but the gesture meant a lot to him. Luckily, despite the severity of the crashes, there had been no fatalities and very few major injuries. It was more of a hassle dealing with the drivers arguing over who's fault it was in the first place then anything else. </p><p> Some days though there was very minor activity involving calls, usually with kids being stuck in places they shouldn't be and parents panicking and not knowing how to react except to call for help. Buck was usually the one taking the lead on those types of calls since the team had already determined he was the best one to deal with kids. Buck didn't mind, he loved kids and dealing with them was sometimes a lot more preferable then dealing with adults. </p><p> One day there was a call that came in for two teenage boys stuck on a fire escape outside of their apartment building. They had gone out to secretly smoke a cigarette and the movement from stepping onto the metal stairs had jostled something loose and the whole thing came swinging off the side of the building and left the poor kids clinging to it's side as someone called 911. It had been Buck and Ben this time to work together, rappelling down the side of the building from the roof in order to secure the two kids into a safety harness for getting them down to the ground with only a few minor cuts and bruises. The thrill of the call had remained in Buck's system long after they left the scene and returned back to the fire house. He almost felt giddy but more so he felt needed and wanted among his team. He had a purpose again and that was something he hadn't felt in months.</p><p> Buck felt the old stirring of excitement growing inside of him again and even though he wished he had  had that feeling with his old team, he was glad to know he could still experience that with his new crew.</p><p>                                                                                                                {~}{~}</p><p> </p><p> The week was coming to a close when Buck was called into Peterson's office for a talk. At first Buck immediately went in there with his thoughts going at lightening speed, trying to figure out if any of his actions in the last few days warranted scrutiny. But he couldn't think of anything he had done wrong and as he walked into the captain's office, he mentally prepared himself to accept whatever was thrown at him. He must have done something wrong and he was going to face that head on. </p><p> “Hey Buckley, I just wanted to talk to you before you headed home.” Peterson said when he showed up, moving around some papers on his desk and Buck couldn't help but wonder if those papers were about him. Was Peterson already regretting hiring him even though it was only temporary?</p><p> “Did I do something wrong?” He immediately asked, despising how small his voice sounded.  It made him want to cringe but he managed to school his features into something relaxed. “I apologize if I stepped out of line ...”</p><p> “Buckley relax.” Peterson said, his eyes filled with amusement as he sat back in his chair. “You didn't do anything wrong. Actually I called you in here for the opposite. You did great this week.”</p><p> “Really?” Buck was surprised and felt the weight on his shoulders give a little bit. He dropped down into the chair in front of the desk and looked at his new captain in disbelief. “I'm not being reprimanded for... well, anything?”</p><p> “No.” Peterson said, looking like he wanted to say something in addition to what Buck said, but he turned it in a different direction. “I just wanted to let you know you did good this week. You work well with the team, you take orders as they come at you. You're little too reckless and eager to jump into danger for my taste but we are firefighters, so that's to be expected.”</p><p> “Well thanks.” Buck felt oddly pleased and little bit touched to hear that. He had forgotten what it was like to be praised and not put down while on the job. “That means a lot actually.”</p><p> “I knew it was a good idea to listen to Brian. He spoke very highly of you and after seeing you in action these past few days, I have no doubt I made the right choice hiring you.” Peterson said, smiling at him almost fondly. “Now it's one less thing to worry about. At least until the new recruits get here.”</p><p> “I'm glad to be here.” Buck said and found that he really did mean it. As tough as it had been to make the choice to come here, being among people who wanted him around and working with them in the job that he loved made him happier then he had been in a very long time. He smiled back at Peterson as he stood up. “Thank you.”</p><p> “You're welcome. Now get out of here, I have work to do.” He ordered, nodding to the door where the others were trying and failing to pretend like they hadn't been listening in. Buck grinned and walked out of the office as Brian and the other four followed him to the locker room to get changed. It was only quiet for the few seconds it took them to leave the vicinity of Peterson's office but as soon as they were alone, they all started talking.</p><p> “Ok, spill. Did Cap yell at you?” Candice demanded once they were alone and had gone to their respective lockers to gather their things. “Is he grounding you?”</p><p> “No he didn't ground me.” Buck replied, rolling his eyes in amusement as he unbuttoned his short and stuffed it into his bag, he would need to toss it in the washer when he got home. “He was actually just telling me I did good this week.”</p><p> “Ooh someone is the new favorite.” Candice said in a sing song voice and Buck knew she was just teasing him.</p><p> “Cap does not pay favorites.” Eric pointed out, waving his hand at the others. “And if he did, I would be the favorite.”</p><p> “Yea ok.” Simon snorted, laughing into the interior of his locker. “That sounds legit.”</p><p> “You're just mad because Cap still hasn't forgiven you for setting a fire in the kitchen.” Eric shot back with a wicked grin, causing Simon to whip around so fast he almost fell back down.</p><p> “That was one time!”  </p><p> “It was scrambled eggs!” Brian shared a knowing look with the others as they dissolved into laughter. “How did you managed to burn eggs to the point of setting a fire?”</p><p> “Ugh can we not discuss this?” Simon grumbled, turning back to his locker to pull on a sweater but Buck caught the briefest glimpse of a smirk on his lips. “Let's just go back to teasing Buckley about being the favorite.”</p><p> “I never said I was the favorite.” Buck pulled on his jeans and t-shirt and finished stuffing his uniform into his bag as he fished out his keys from the side pocket. “That was all Candice.”</p><p> “You are the shiny new toy right now.” She said, nodding her head. “And you did work well with us this week.”</p><p> “Thanks.” Buck said, fighting back that ridiculous pleased smile that threatened to take over his face whenever someone said anything remotely nice to him. “I'm just glad to be here.”</p><p> “We're glad to have you.” Brian agreed and once again they shared a smile. Brian had always been able to guess what he had been thinking even though it had been years since they had been around each other this much. But now that they were working together, it was so easy to slip back into how they use to be before. Maybe it was because it had been so long since Buck felt like he had a friend that he was just clinging to whatever scrap of kindness anyone threw at him. </p><p> But it was more than that. Being around Brian and his crew had broken down the walls Buck had started to build around his heart. They weren't down completely, but having a team to focus on again, and feeling like he had people there for him was enough to make him feel like he was belonging somewhere. </p><p> It was nice to feel like he had something stable again.</p><p>                                                                                                               {~}{~}</p><p> </p><p> Hen almost jumped when a nearby locker door slammed shut and she looked up from her spot on the bench to see it was Eddie who had caused the noise. She couldn't say she was surprised. He had been in foul mood all week and even though he was professional while out on calls, she could still tell that he was not in the right frame of mind that he had been just a week ago : if you could even call that his usual frame of mind. She waited until some of the others were out of the room before she dared to speak to him, hoping he wouldn't yell at her. It didn't take much for him to snap at anyone these days.</p><p> “Hey you doing ok?” She asked hesitantly already knowing the answer but not wanting to say anything that could push him.</p><p> “I'm fine.” He grumbled, throwing his bag on the bench in front of him as he turned back to change into his street clothes. “It's just been a long week.”</p><p> “Yea.” She nodded in agreement. But they have had long weeks before and then some. Eddie knew that and she knew that he knew she wasn't buying his attempt at a response. “But this isn't like every other week.”</p><p> “Ain't that the truth.” He sighed heavily, more to himself then to her. He stopped moving and leaned back against the locker with his eyes closed. “It just feels longer. And quieter.”</p><p> “I know.” She did know. It was what they were all thinking all week but no one had really wanted to say it out loud. But after a few days of them all stewing in silence, especially Eddie, Hen knew someone had to say something. “It's weird without Buck here.”</p><p> “He hasn't responded to any of my texts or calls. I leave a voice mail and he doesn't call back. I send an email and there's nothing. He won't open any FaceTime calls. And he leaves my texts unread.” Eddie told her, sliding down the locker front so he was sitting on the floor with his legs pulled up close to him. “I tried to go over to his place the other day and he had changed the locks.”</p><p> “I think he just needs time...” Hen began to say but Eddie cut in.</p><p> “He still talks to Chris.” Eddie sounded almost jealous of his son but as much as Hen wanted to pity the poor guy, she knew he only had himself to blame for his current situation. They all did. “When Carla is watching Chris, they'll talk to Buck on FaceTime or Buck will call when he has a minute. I wouldn't be shocked if they met up in person one day.”</p><p> “Yea I tried too but he won't talk to me.” Hen pressed her lips together so she didn't let out her frustrations over her own behavior. She should have tried harder to get through to Buck. She didn't have to keep him at a distance to the point where he felt like he had no one. She could have talked things through with him like an adult and maybe they could have gotten passed all this and he would still be here. But she hadn't, none of them had and now things were off without Buck around. Eddie had been right when he said it was too quiet. They had all been used to Buck filling the air with his voice trying to entice them into conversation; even when they had barely been responding to him, he still tried to fill the silence and Hen never realized how much they all depended on him for background noise until that first day and he wasn't there.  He was at another house and they were most likely treating him better then the 118 had. They couldn't blame anyone for Buck jumping ship. There was only so much crap a person could take before they needed a break. And they had shoved Buck to his breaking point. She looked up and met Eddie's eyes. “I think we really messed up.”</p><p> “I did the bulk of pushing him away.”</p><p> “Yea but I didn't help things either.” Hen pointed out, leaning down so her elbows were propped up on her knees. “We all could have tried harder and we didn't. And that's what we will have to deal with until he comes back.”</p><p> “Do you think he'll talk to us then?” Eddie asked, looking as crestfallen as she did about having to wait to make things right. It wasn't ideal, but it was what they had to accept. “I wouldn't blame him of he still refused to forgive us.”</p><p> “Maybe this time away will be good for all of us. Maybe it will open everyone's eyes and we can figure out how to move on once we all have had some breathing room.”</p><p> “I hope you're right.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Week Two: Missing You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>While Buck settles in at the 116, The 118 start to feel the weight of Buck's absence and realize how much they miss their youngest member</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry for the shortness of this chapter, I had a bit of a struggle trying to get this out and I'm not entirely happy with it but I promise the next chapter will be longer and better. Otherwise, enjoy !!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buck didn't know it was possible to find comfort at a firehouse other than the 118 but he was wrong. It was only the second week and already he could feel the tension leaving his shoulders and the weight in his heart was getting lighter. It was almost a shock to feel so differently than he had been feeling just over a week ago but here he was doing just that. It almost didn't feel real; it was like it was happening to a different person. There had been times when he thought he should pinch himself to make sure this wasn't a dream, because if it was, he never wanted to wake up. He wanted to live inside this fantasy as long as he could. But it wasn't a dream, it was very real and Buck found himself becoming more unguarded as the days went on.</p><p> Buck thought that the members of the 116 crew would be nice and gracious to him and that would be about it. He didn't expect them to be embracing him like family and treating him like he had always been there right along with them.</p><p> Eric was full of energy and passion and in some ways reminded Buck a little bit of himself back in the day except for the fact that Eric lacked the confidence that Buck had had. Eric was slightly younger than him, but his constant buzzing around the firehouse asking questions made him feel like that annoying little brother that Buck had always secretly wanted for himself. Every time Buck came in, Eric was always the first to greet him no matter where he was in the firehouse. It was nice to be welcomed with such unabashed kindness and enthusiasm. Buck didn't realize how much he had missed a friendly face in the start of shifts until he started being welcomed by Eric.</p><p> Candice was someone Buck could appreciate greatly. After being shunned and kept out of things by the 118 for months, it was comforting to be around someone who didn't hold anything back and said exactly what was on her mind. She was straight forward but not cruel and when Buck messed up during a call, she pulled him aside so he wasn't being admonished in front of the others. He appreciated that gesture so much because had it happened at the 118, no one would have hesitated to yell at him no matter who was around. But as rough and tough as Candice tried to be, Buck could tell she had a gentle side underneath it all and that she cared about everyone she worked with and that now included Buck.</p><p> Ben was the most mature out of all of them and probably the one who had the best advice to give when someone needed it. But what Buck came to find about Ben was that he was just as comforting in his silence as he was when he was talking. Some times after a tough call, Buck didn't want to talk to anyone about what was going on inside his head and most people pushed him to talk but  not Ben. Even though Buck preferred to be left alone after these kind of calls, it didn't necessarily mean that he wanted to be alone right after them either. And one night, Ben just sat on the bench right next to him in the locker room and didn't say a word. They just sat there in silence for close to 20 minutes until finally Buck found it in him to stand up and get changed. Buck didn't know it at the time, but it was probably exactly what he needed and some how Ben had know that. It still amazed him that anyone could read him that well after only knowing him for just over a week.</p><p> Simon was always the one who knew exactly how to cheer up everybody when they were feeling down.  Like when Eric was beating himself up for making a mistake in cleaning up the truck, Simon went ahead and purposely made a bigger mistake and then proceeded to trip over his own feet and wind up almost kissing the floor; bringing about a round of laughter that seemed to echo into the rafters for over 5 minutes.  Or when Buck was having one of his off days, Simon had offered a pick me up in the form of a cupcake from the bakery around the corner which he had run to during his break, remembering that red velvet was Buck's favorite.  It had shocked him to have something done for him just for the sake of being nice and him needing to be cheered up. Buck honestly couldn't remember the last time someone had done something like that for him</p><p> Captain Peterson was exactly what Brian said he was. A tough, no nonsense kind of leader who expected his orders to be followed and for his team to stick together like family. When Buck had first met Bobby, he had specifically told Buck that this wasn't a family. That had changed over time but that was just one of a few things that set Bobby apart from Peterson. His new captain had used the term family in most talks since Buck had joined their ranks right off the bat. And with the way Peterson looked at all of them, Buck could see he meant every word that came out of his mouth. He had that same fond look in his eyes that Bobby use to have, Buck realized now how much he had missed being looked at like that by his captain.</p><p> Brian reminded him so much of Eddie before Buck realized that he was in love with Eddie, back when they had been the best of friends. It had been so easy for him to slip back into that old easy way that he and Brian had in the early days of their friendship. It was nice to be able to joke around and be affectionate with someone and not hold back in fear of doing something to set the other one off. Brian had been his biggest supporter since the moment Buck had told him he was coming to the 116 and he hadn't let up in the slightest. He was always there when Buck needed to talk or just hang out watching movies and drinking beer. Brian didn't hesitate in trying to include Buck in every plan or outing and maybe he tried too hard to make Buck feel welcome, but after so long of being on the outside, it was nice to be invited in.</p><p> Buck was starting to find his way again. The ground was beginning to feel solid once more. And if he missed his old life, well that was something he pushed to the back of his mind.</p><p>                                                                                                       {-}{-}</p><p> </p><p> “Hey, do you have a minute?” Chim asked Hen when the two of them were alone in the locker room together and looked out to the main bay to make sure they weren't interrupted before he looked back at his friend. He had been trying to figure out how to bring this up all week and if he was being honest with himself, he just didn't have the guts to start this conversation. He had been hiding behind extra chores and errands to keep himself from dwelling on it for too long but he knew that he had to talk about it. If it was under normal circumstances, he would be talking to Maddie, but she was barely acknowledging him and bringing up this particular subject would surely bring on another argument and he was just so tired of it. He looked at Hen.“I think we need to talk.”</p><p> “Sounds serious. Are we breaking up?” She asked jokingly and on any other day Chim would have laughed in response but he just wasn't feeling it. Things had been off for a while and it was really starting to get to him and the only way he knew to feel better was to put it out there to the one person who probably knew him the best and that was Hen. She seemed to realized right away that this wasn't going to be like their usual conversations towards the end of their shifts and she immediately sat up, frowning in concern. “What's going on? Are you ok?”</p><p> “I'm fine.” He assured her, sitting down on the bench to her left and gripped the wooden seat with both hands. “But I've been thinking about the whole Buck situation. Like a lot.”</p><p> “I know what you mean.” Hen's face went slack at the mention of their youngest team member and for a few seconds she stared at the floor in silence before speaking again. “I've been thinking about him too. I think everyone has.”</p><p> “It's just that no one mentions it.” Chim said with a grimace. It was true. He saw it on the faces of the 118 firefighters and knew by the way their eyes drifted around the station that they were thinking about Buck but there had been no talk of the man. It was like they were afraid to say his name and Chim couldn't exactly blame them. There had been a cloud hanging over the 118 since Buck's departure and they all knew they were responsible for it. “It feels so empty here.”</p><p> “Yea. I think we took for granted how much space Buck took up with his personality.” Hen nodded, the smallest of smiles on her lips. “I just miss him.”</p><p> “Me too.” Chim agreed, rubbing a hand down his face before dropping his head down. “We really fucked up.”</p><p> “I know.”</p><p> “I mean, what were thinking treating him the way we did?”  He shook his head in disgust as he thought back to his interactions with Buck and he wanted to kick his own ass. All the ignoring and distancing and allowing the others to treat him worse just made Chim's skin crawl. “And he put up with it for months. I don't think I could have done that. I don't blame him for jumping ship to another house. Even if it is only temporary.”</p><p> “Don't let Eddie hear you say that.” Hen said in an attempt at humor but neither of them found it in themselves to laugh. “I've been thinking about all this too and I just feel like utter crap over it. We may not have gone to the extremes that Eddie and Bobby did, but we didn't exactly help matters either. We let him feel like he had nobody.”</p><p> “How do we fix this?”</p><p> “I don't know.” She admitted, sitting up straight with a sigh. “I tried calling him but he never answers. You?”</p><p> “I tried but, he ignores me too.” Chim pressed his mouth together tightly. “I won't even try to ask Maddie for help because I know it will just end in an argument.”</p><p> “Sorry.” Hen said, a pitying look in her eyes. “How are things between you two?”</p><p> “She hasn't kicked me out yet or moved out herself so I'm counting it as a win.” He shrugged, thinking of the woman he loved and remembering the look on her face when she had confronted him over his treatment of her brother. It wasn't just the anger and fury that had him shrinking back. It was the hollow look in her eyes like she was looking at a stranger, she had never looked at him like that. He knew he had hurt her by not being on Buck's side and he knew he deserved every bit of her anger. She loved her little brother fiercely and would protect him as much as she could. He wanted to fix this whole thing, not just with Buck but with her as well. It was breaking his heart to know she thought so low of him. And he only had himself to blame once again for this mess. “We need to fix this. I just don't know how.”</p><p> “Neither do I.” Hen tapped her fingertips on the bench loudly. “When he comes back, we can try talking to him, apologize again.; grovel if we need to.”</p><p> “I'll do whatever I have to do. It never should gotten this bad to begin with.” Chim said, nodding more to himself then to his best friend. “I just wish there was something else we could do. Talking doesn't seem to be enough.”</p><p> “Well eventually he is going to come back ...” Hen stood up and turned to shut her locker door. “He has another week and then he is done. And we'll be seeing him walking back through those doors. Hopefully by then we will have come up with something more to do.”</p><p> “We should start thinking now.”</p><p>                                                                                                       {-}{-}</p><p><br/> Eddie knew something was wrong from the moment he came home and he just couldn't  figure out what that thing was. At first he thought it was just because it had been a long shift and he was still carrying that weight over from when he left the station but instinct told him that it wasn't work. The thing that was wrong had originated in the house.</p><p> He had felt it in the air when he walked in his front door and his first thought was that something bad had happened to Chris and he immediately called out in a panic. But then Carla had come out from the kitchen to greet him and assured him that Christopher was perfectly ok and Eddie had nearly melted into the floor in relief. But then Carla had mentioned that Chris had been acting off ever since she picked him up from school. He was quiet and withdrawn and not even the promise of ice cream and a trip to the park could get a smile out of him. She had tried her hardest to reach him but he had preferred to spend the afternoon in his room, barely making a sound. It had worried her to the point that her first thought had also been something physically was wrong with him. But there had been no fever, no scrapped knees, no note from the school saying anything had gone wrong during the day.  Eddie had assured that he would figure it out and sent a worried Carla home.</p><p> But he hadn't been able to get it out. Eddie had gone to join his son in his room and asked him about his day but even though Chris had responded, there was no excitement in his voice like there usually was, no details other than the bare minimum and he had eventually lapsed into silence and turned his back on Eddie. It was the same during dinner and not having his kid talking his ear off hit him harder than he thought it would. If he thought about it, this had been going on for a few days. Chris had been talking less and less each day of the past week but today was the first day that he barely said a handful of words and Eddie was getting really worried. So when it came time for bed and he was tucking Chris in after brushing his teeth, instead of reaching for the book on his nightstand Eddie sat on the bed in front of his son, determined to figure out what was bugging him.</p><p> “Alright kid. What's going on?” Eddie began, his question bringing Chris's eyes up to meet his before drifting away sadly. “You've been awfully quiet and not like yourself.”</p><p> “Nothing's wrong daddy.” Chris said softy, his fingers tracing a pattern in his comforter over and over again until Eddie reached out and took his hand.</p><p> “Hey remember what I said about us always being honest with each other?” He waited until Chris nodded in acknowledgment before trying again. “Can you tell me what's wrong?”</p><p> “I miss Buck.” Chris said softly, his simple reply made the breath in Eddie's chest catch and suddenly it was hard to get air into his lungs again. “He's not around enough anymore.”</p><p> “Oh Chris you know that's because he had to go work at another firehouse right?” Eddie told him, tightening his fingers over his son's hand when really all he wanted to do was rush out of the room. He should have guessed this was coming. Buck may have explained to Chris why he wasn't going to be around as much, but that didn't mean his kid truly understood what all this meant. “And it's only for a little while.”</p><p> “I know but I still miss him.” Chris looked up at him almost pleadingly. “Can't he come back?”</p><p> “He will.” Eddie said quickly, his heart achingly at the plea. He too wanted Buck to come back, he wanted to be able to apologize to his friend for the treatment he suffered and if he was honest, Eddie really wanted them to finally talk about that kiss they shared. He forced a smile on his face. “He only has to be there for one more week and then he's coming back. He was always going to come back.”</p><p> “Even if he's still sad?” Chris's question made the blood in Eddie's veins go cold.</p><p> “Did Buck tell you he was sad?”</p><p> “No, but he sounds sad when he calls Carla to talk to me.” Chris told him and Eddie wondered just how often Buck talked to Chris. He knew Buck would hold true to his promise to keep in touch but he didn't think it would be often enough for Chris to pick up on his emotions when he did. He moved over so he was sitting next to his son and put an arm around him and Chris leaned against him, sighing far too heavily for Eddie's liking. “He was sad for a long time. I don't want him to be sad any more.”</p><p> “I don't want him to be sad either buddy.” Eddie closed his eyes, trying to keep everything at bay. The last thing he wanted to do was have a break down in front of his kid. “Buck just needed to help out some other firefighters but he will come home soon.”</p><p> “I hope so.”</p><p> I hope so too.  Eddie think but doesn't say out loud as he reaches over and grabs the book of bedtime stories off the nightstand and flips it open and begins to read.<br/> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Week Three: Good Times, Crazy Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry this took so long to get out and I'm still hating how it turned out but I had to post it or else it might not have happened at all. I promise the next chapter wont take as long and it will be much much better</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ok Buckley, who are you texting? You've been glued to that phone for the past 10 minutes.”  Candice pointed out as she came over to the table with a cup of coffee and a playful smile on her face. It was the beginning of his third week here at the 116 and Buck was still surprised when he was greeted early in the morning with smiles and a bunch of playful teasing that sometimes almost painfully reminded him of what he had left behind. He shook that thought away as quickly as he could and turned to face the red head with a roll of his eyes that only seemed to interest her even more. “Girlfriend?”</p><p> “No.” Buck said simply, not trying to hide his smile because he genuinely enjoyed teasing her in the way he assumed Maddie had always loved teasing him when they were kids. “Definitely not a girlfriend.”</p><p> “Boyfriend then?” Brian inquired, coming over to join them and dropped into the seat beside Buck with a smirk as he propped his feet up on the rungs underneath Buck's chair. “You've never been ashamed of exploring your options.”</p><p> “And I'm not ashamed now. I don't have a girlfriend or boyfriend.” Buck tried not to grin but it was hard not to when he was around these people. Even though they had all made it a habit to tease each other on a fairly regular basis, it was all in good fun. They were good people and had welcomed him with open arms and he was grateful that he could still remember what it was like to work with people and be close to them at the same time. He didn't expect to ever find that again. He motioned to his phone. “I'm writing an email for Carla to show to Christopher later.”</p><p> “Didn't you just FaceTime with him a few days ago?” Eric asked, looking up from the book he was reading and cocked his head. “You gathered more stuff to tell him about since then?”</p><p> “Oh leave him alone, he's trying to be nice.” Ben playfully shoved the younger man by the shoulder. “I think it's great he's keeping touch.”</p><p> “I did promise him that I wouldn't just go off the grid. When I told him that I was leaving and that I couldn't see him as often as I use to until I came back, I had to assure him that we would talk and text and email and all that stuff...” Buck remembered that conversation with Chris like he just had it yesterday. He knew it was going to be tough to talk about but he couldn't put it off or ignore that he wasn't going to be around for these past few weeks. Chris was a smart kid and would have known right away that something was the matter, so Buck had tried to keep it as simple as he could and told him that another firehouse needed some help and he was going to be there for a little while but that he would come back. And that until then, they would stay in touch and talk as much as possible. Buck was determined to keep that promise no matter how tired he was on some days or how tough some of the calls were to endure. And so far he had stayed true to his word. He didn't know how things were going to be after this week when he went back to the 118, but he would figure it out. He shook himself out of his thoughts and looked around the table. “He's very curious. So I'm just telling him about some of the calls we've gone on and a little bit about you guys.”</p><p> “It better be all good things.” Simon said, trying and failing to look stern as he kicked his feet up on to an empty chair. “We can't have the new guy badmouthing us.”</p><p> “This is his third week, he's hardly new.” Brian pointed out, sounding almost protective. “I doubt he's badmouthing anybody.”</p><p> “Besides, he fit in better than you did when you first came here.” Candice made a point of saying with a knowing look that had Simon flushing and sitting back in his chair with an embarassed frown that made Buck curious about that story. “By the way, is there any way we can keep you?”</p><p> “Yea no...” Buck said, laughing as he finished typing his email and sent it off to Carla before setting his phone down. “After this week I have to head back. But the idea is nice, just not possible.”</p><p> “You looking forward to that?” Brian asked, knocking Buck's elbow playfully to get his attention. “Ok maybe looking forward to is not the right phrasing...”</p><p> “Well if I were in his shoes, I wouldn't be happy to go back.” Eric said, pressing his lips together tightly. For someone who came off as nice and gentle as Eric, he was surprisingly quick to jump into the fire. “I mean, you said they were kind of assholes to you before you left...”</p><p> “Assholes weren't the words I used.” Buck reminded the group but thinking back to how he had told them about the reasons why he had come here, he couldn't blame them for thinking of his old team in a negative light. He himself was just coming around to recognizing their behavior both recently  and in the past towards him was problematic and he hadn't deserved any of it. At least not for as long as it had gone on.“But let's just say I am kind of dreading talking to them again.”</p><p> “Have you had any contact with them since you came here?” Ben asked slowly.</p><p> “Besides Chris, I've only spoken to my sister.” He told them, his fingers almost twitching in the direction of his phone. “Not that it stopped the others from trying to speak to me.”</p><p> It was true. These past few weeks away from the 118 hadn't been quiet ones. Even though he never picked up or answered a text, his old team still tried almost every day to get a response from him.  There were countless voicemails from Hen and Chim begging for him to talk to them. Bobby sent a few texts here and there but Buck was guessing his pride and shame kept him from really pushing it further. Eddie was the worst though. He didn't just try to call. He texted at least once every morning, afternoon and night. When Chris was on FaceTime with Buck, Eddie would try and pop in near the end of the call to force a conversation. But Buck was not having it, he wasn't ready to talk to any of them and especially not Eddie. He had been forced to change the locks at his apartment because Eddie had shown up one night trying to talk to him and Buck did not want to return home one night and find Eddie sitting in his living room because he still had a key. Sure, Buck could have asked for his extra key back but that would have meant talking to Eddie. And Buck was feeling petty, so on one of his days off he had gone to the hardware store and change the locks. Sure enough Eddie came back again and tried to come in but his key was useless now. Now they were completely cut off from any contact with Buck until he was ready to face them.</p><p> And by the time this week was over, he would be facing them again. He would have to start preparing himself now.</p><p>                                                                                                       {**}-{**}<br/>
 <br/>
 If Buck had any belief that his last week was going to be easy and uncomplicated when it came to emergency calls, then he was dead wrong.</p><p> Early in the week he had been paired with Brian again for one of the first major calls that still had Buck scratching his head. They had been called out to an indoor rock climbing business and for some reason, they had all been under the assumption that it was an actual fire call. That is until the manager came running out looking beyond frustrated and motioned for them to follow him inside. They had just stepped inside the first set of doors when they were hearing the shouting and rattling of equipment. Captain Peterson had raised his eyebrows but lead them into the building without saying a word and over to the rock climbing wall where nearly 50 feet above them, a man and a woman were  arguing and trying to push each other while further tangling themselves in their safety equipment. Buck had shared a smile with the other and they all had to fight to keep from laughing out loud while Peterson got the story from the manager. Apparently the pair were recently separated exes who for some reason had believed that doing indoor rock climbing would be the thing that would help put their relationship back on track. And instead they had immediately fallen to arguing and on their way back down had become tangled with each others ropes and were swinging precariously high above the ground. Not that that stopped them from yelling at each other and throwing blame. Buck and Brian had been sent up to attempt to stabilize the two and wound up having to cut them out of their harnesses to break them apart in order to get them back down. The fighting didn't stop even when they were safe on the ground but that was not their problem anymore. Although, Buck couldn't help but shake his head at the insanity of it all. What the hell had they been thinking trying to spend time together when they were clearly combative and unable to speak calmly to each other? Why stay together if they treated each other so horribly? In some ways it hit a little close to home and reminded him that when he was in an almost similar situation, he had chosen to leave instead of stooping to the level of petty behavior like those two. There was a proper way to fight back and the way they chose was ridiculous.</p><p> The next day they had been called out to a backyard where a fire had been started in a treehouse from a lit cigarette. Luckily the two kids inside had been able to get out before the old wood really caught fire and by the time the 116 had arrived, the rest of the tree was catching fire and the family was standing out in the front yard in a panic. They of course didn't find the evidence of how the fire had started but one of the boys had confessed to setting down a cigarette on the floor, thinking it was out when they had both fallen asleep only to be awoken by the flames. The tree house couldn't be saved but the silver lining was that no one was hurt and the fire hadn't spread any where else.</p><p> The day after they had been called to another residence, except this time it was because a man had stuck his hand down the garbage disposal drain and couldn't get his hand back out. No amount of tugging or oil could make the man's hand budge so the decision had been made to disassemble the sink, something that Ben knew how to do without damaging the rest of the area. Buck had asked the man how this had happened and judging by the flush on the man's face, it was clear it had been an impulsive decision that he wasn't willing to divulge.</p><p> It wasn't just the calls that had kept Buck occupied, it was also the team activities. It was one thing to be welcomed as a temporary hire, but it was another thing to be welcomed and treated like a family member. He had forgotten entirely what it was like to spend time with his coworkers outside of the firehouse, so when Candice and Brian had invited him out to game nights at their houses with the others, Buck had nearly wept from happiness. It wasn't anything special or exciting, just the 6 of them sitting around drinking and playing games or watching movies. It was still the best time he had in a while. To be included and not on the outside was like a shock to the system and he was almost overcome with remembering what it was like to be a part of a family. Maddie was going to tease him about this when he told her about during one of their daily calls but she would be pleased to hear the lightness in his voice. He knew she hadn't heard that from him in months.</p><p>                                                                                                       {**}-{**}</p><p> It was late on Saturday night when Buck was called into Peterson's office  right before he was due to leave the station and head out to a bar to meet the others for a send off drink. Buck couldn't help but feel a slight flare of nervousness come over him when he sat down in front of Peterson's desk, wondering if he was about to be presented with a list of mistakes he had made while he was here. But instead Peterson had smiled at him and surprised him with the words that had came out of his mouth.</p><p> “How would you feel about sticking around for another few weeks?” </p><p> “Huh?” Buck nearly kicked himself for responding that way but he quickly recovered and sat up, shoving his clasped hands between his knees. “I mean, that's great but I thought I was only suppose to be here for 3 weeks?”</p><p> “Well that was the plan but the recruit that was due to start next Monday had a minor accident and he is laid up with a badly sprained ankle and can't start obviously.” Peterson explained, running a hand through his short brown hair before shrugging his shoulders and focusing on Buck once again. “So I thought that since you've been here and work well with the team, I would see if I could extend your position another two weeks. What do you think?”</p><p> “I mean, I was prepared to head back after this week...” Buck began and stopped with a frown. Had he been prepared to go back? Not really. At least not enough. Because despite him telling himself that he needed to prepare for the inevitable, he had been putting off making a game plan for his return and now it was the end of the 3rd week and he as no closer to knowing how he was going to face his team then he had been in the beginning. But now it looked like he wouldn't have to after all.  He looked up at his captain. “But now I'm kind of thinking that sticking around for a bit longer wouldn't be so bad.”</p><p> “Not looking forward to going back just yet?” Peterson asked, his eyes narrowing slightly. It was common knowledge at this point in the 116 as to why Buck was here and Peterson of all of them had not taken the news of Bobby's behavior towards Buck well. From a purely professional standpoint, Peterson looked down on Bobby for the way he treated Buck differently from the others. It just wasn't ok to single out one firefighter like that no matter the history they had together. If there was going to be   rules for one person, then it needed to be applied to everyone. It was why Buck appreciated working under Peterson's leadership, he was treated the same as everyone else. He had forgotten how assuring that could be. “Can't say I blame you.”</p><p> “I know whether I go back now or in a few weeks, it's going to be tough...” Buck answered honestly. “But I would be lying if I said I didn't love the idea of putting it off just a little bit longer.”</p><p> “You certainly would be doing us a huge favor. I don't exactly relish having to bring in another temporary firefighter for two weeks and risk them not working well with the team before the full time recruit was ready. So you are kind of saving my ass here.” Peterson pointed out with a smile, an expression on his face that reminded Buck of the way that Bobby use to look at him. Peterson leaned forward with his crossed arms on the desktop. “So are you saying yes?”</p><p> “Oh I'm definitely saying yes.”</p><p>                                                                                              {**}-{**}</p><p> Later that night when Buck arrived at the bar and told the others that he would be staying for another two weeks, his announcement had been met with a wild cheer and round of applause. Brian had been the most excited and immediately called for another round of drinks for their table. Buck had welcomed the hugs and pats on the back from his teammates and as he sat down between Candice and Ben, he felt a sense of calm come over him that hadn't been there in weeks. He knew the feeling wouldn't last forever as he was only putting off his return for a few more weeks. But after the hellish few months he had endured back at the 118, he was glad to delay coming back for a bit. He deserved more of a break from his old life and he would enjoy whatever came in these next few weeks.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you so much to everyone for their interest in this sequel and sent messages on tumblr asking me to write it. Your wish is my command and I hope you enjoy it as much as you did Part 1</p></blockquote></div></div>
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